〔 open rp post. 〕

[retromancer]

₀ choose 〔 RECORD 〕
₁ 〔 DUST 〕
₂ hit 〔 PLAY 〕
₃ you must 〔 DANCE^¹ 〕

^¹ have fun

Comments

shut up i'm never gonna dance again george michael B|

[mockblingbird]

please don't tell me you're hitting on milfs at that cooking class again.

WOW fine be that way

[jests]

is it the cooking or the of-legal-age bit that puts you off the most?

[mockblingbird]

mostly the angry husbands. no, DEFINITELY the angry husbands.

1/2

[jests]

ah.

[jests]

that's the entertaining bit.

[mockblingbird]

fucking isn't supposed to be followed by a marathon sprint.

[jests]

you're doing your sprinting wrong if it takes you 26.2 miles to get away.

[mockblingbird]

the distance is proportionate to how much i love myself.

[jests]

the only running your sexual exploits involve is to the local clinic. that's not 26 miles away.

[mockblingbird]

because i know better than to mess with another man's property. what is it with you and pre-loved merchandise?

[jests]

satisfaction guarantee.

[mockblingbird]

for you or them?

[jests]

i do hope you're not accusing me of being selfish and self-serving.

[mockblingbird]

no need for accusations when guilt's already been proven.

[jests]

so the question wasn't entirely necessary, was it?

[mockblingbird]

just checking if you're still self-aware. you know most self-respecting men prefer home improvement to homewrecking as a hobby.

[jests]

the popularity of ikea would beg to differ re: accuracy.

[mockblingbird]

shut up i get all my furniture there.

[jests]

i am very sorry.

[mockblingbird]

i'm gonna forgive your blasphemy for now since you're probably going to end up with a bastard sooner or later.

[jests]

i am a firm advocate of safe sex when dealing with adulterous women. one never knows where they've been.

[mockblingbird]

if you believed in safe sex, you'd be opting for conquests with less risk involved.

[jests]

i'm disappointed in your sense of adventure.

[mockblingbird]

it's called self-preservation

[jests]

i give you permission to say 'i told you so' should the worst come to pass.

[mockblingbird]

don't be that guy who gets his cock lopped off. i don't think i'd be able to tolerate a eunuch.

[ha ha ha crying]

[jests]

i'm tempted to say my misfortune would be greater than yours.

[mockblingbird]

what misfortune? not being me is a great misfortune billions of people have to deal with. i'm peachy keen.

also this is for whenever

[une]

we're up all night to get loki /shot

[snowstormed]